Writing this just to sprinkle some water over my dry blog... Give a casual reading!
Love is one of the most common emotion about which we talk about, yet probably the most indescribable and vague. Love is not one of the primary emotions like happiness or sadness or anger, yet we feel it in every relationship we are in. We talk about love between brothers and sisters, father and mother, granddaughter and grandfather and among friends too. Even though love is an important ingredient in each and every relation, explaining it is not easy.
Anyways I am not going to talk about brotherly love or the love expressed by parents to their children. My focus here will be the love which exists between the couple who are dating each other, yet not married and the concept of “Love at first sight”! Ok, yesterday I was having a pretty long discussion with a friend of mine where she was adamant that sex is not all ways necessary in love relationship while I had the opposite views.
As personally, I could not categorize love as an emotion or a feeling. Anyhow, even differentiating feeling and emotion is equally tough and subjective. But one thing I am sure of that it is accumulation of feelings/emotions and not a result of “direct lead in-lead out system”. Though by mentioning of - Accumulation of feelings, I don’t mean a junkyard of all the sweet memories.
Now the self created model of love which makes sense to me is LOVE = 1) JOY + 2) TRUST + 3) SEX. For a love relationship to be successful these three basic components needs to be there. Well, here I am talking about LOVE and not crush or some random wild sex. Well other surface needs like security, respect and warmth are crucial too. The priorities may be different, but as I said it’s my personal model so I classify them as “Side needs”.
Now, Love without any of these:-
- Joy + Trust:-
Obviously yes, there will be love, but very much similar to love between friends and siblings.
- Trust + Sex:-
Two people develop a trust and feel that they can have a casual sex. Love & happiness exists only till the time one gets an orgasm.
- Joy + Sex:-
Simple! Sex for fun. But, what is missing is LOVE!
Anyways, I doesn’t mean that they happen in an hour time. It is a process and it has to be followed strictly in this same serial order.
Firstly, two people should spend some FUN time with each other and get to know each other well. It should not be like, first meeting followed by a Bang-Bang!
Secondly, TRUST being an important factor needs to be well developed between two partners. While one may replace this term as “respect” too.
Thirdly, SEX; Physical intimacy plays a very important role in a relationship. Anyways, sex may not always refer to intercourse or Ok….never mind!
And regarding the hyped concept of “Love at first sight”. It never happens according to me. One needs to pass on the first two stages at least to experience even a bit of love.
Damnit! Wrote about something related to love. Funny! But yea, it’s easy. Does not include much of brain work.
I completely agree with you :)
ReplyDeletedude, before I comment on the content (which will require another reading), i'll just say : Improve ur bloody english! You write the way you speak..i could almost "hear" u talking as i read this!
ReplyDeletefor e.g. take this part- "As personally, I could not categorize love as an emotion or a feeling. Anyhow, even differentiating feeling and emotion is equally tough and subjective. But one thing I am sure of that it is accumulation of feelings/emotions and not a result of “direct lead in-lead out system”. Though by mentioning of - Accumulation of feelings, I don’t mean a junkyard of all the sweet memories. "
wtf? thoughts are like a meandering river, but writing like that will only lead to confusion....only suggestion is, after you write a blog, give it to someone to "proof read"....sarat does that very well..he keeps the idea as it is, only changes the words slightly
@ B.k
ReplyDeleteIt may be not the right way....but honestly i enjoy this way only! I know, here i wrote exactly the way i speak. Thanks anyways. :)
blog isn't meant for ur enjoyment, it is for other's enjoyment...frankly, it is hard to get your point across like this....i still didn't understand that part i mentioned...i dont want you to become a Shakespeare (nobody can), but atleast get it proof read, so that humans can understand what "exactly" you want to say
ReplyDeletecoming to the main point, i agree with your analysis of love...though sex is too strong a word...i would say "intimacy" as u said somewhere in between.
PS: of all the people in the world, it is us two who are talking about love! :-P
Your writing skills could use massive doses of steroids. When we talk about improving your writing I think you misunderstand thinking that we mean the use of flowery words or complicated compound phrases or all encompassing blurbs. This is not so. You could use basic language and write excellently. There needs to be coherence in communication and fluidity in cognition. Without structure even the most innovative of ideas fails to make a case for itself. Invest some time in writing well, there are massive pay-offs.
ReplyDeleteComing to your blog now, I agree with your rudimentary model of how a relationship should play out. I would, although, replace sex with 'physical intimacy'. And the very definition of sex is intercourse so I wonder what you mean when you say what you said above. Anyhow, kudos to you on finally spawning a thought pool that I could agree with on some level. And you'll forever be making this discussion on a very abstract level, I wonder if you'll ever get any action from a girl :) Make a move bald midget. Love at first sight is a moronic concept. Infatuation based on attraction at first sight is definitely possible and is what that means. Nice blog all in all. Clean up your goddamn writing.
@ B.k
ReplyDeleteTrue. Haha
@ Sarat/Sam Mendes
ReplyDeleteWill try to work upon that for sure. And kindly no personalized advice or talks over here.
I agree with BK. Its like hearing you speak this. Your idea doesn't come across very clearly. But whatever it tried to say I agree with your concept of the flow of relationship...hope you get one soon too, and can apply all that you wrote..
ReplyDelete